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Friday, August 19, 2016

Using reflective listening

Dear Deep Creek School Family, 


It is easy to get frustrated when you can't seem to communicate with a parent.  We often have preconceived notions that the parent just doesn't care or that they don't value education. I was reminded today that this is usually not the case. In talking with a parent, who is a single mom, she works 50+ hours a week. Her child goes home to an older brother. She may not get home until 9 or 10:00 at night.  She doesn't even see her children off to bed most nights.  The best way to contact her is via text because she is always working and can't answer her phone. In listening to this parent, she had expectations for her children and certainly cared about them and their schooling. However, we, as educators, with the passion to help children, can sometimes misinterpret this as being uninterested.

There is a section in chapter 6 of this book which talks a little about the barriers to communication and how to effectively listen, reflect, and problem solve with a parent. It is an easy read..one that is well worth the time. It discusses what reflective listening is...reflective listening is different from that of ordinary listening in that you reflect, or summarize, the message that the parent is trying to convey.

"It sounds as though..."
"So let me be sure I am understanding you correctly.."
"I'm hearing you say..."

Sometimes, the parent did not have a positive school experience themselves, thus seeming to be more defensive to your suggestions.  When you listen, think, and then reflect, you are letting them know that they were heard and that you understand.  Reflective listening takes practice, just like everything else!  However, it is the key to effective communication with parents.




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